With the exception of the Q-Tip produced That’s My Bitch we posted a while back, you may be wondering why we haven’t even mentioned Kanye & Jay-Z’s self-proclaimed “sophisticated ignorance,” and well the reasons are just to vast to get into. However, my boy Nate sent me an hilarious/amazing review by one of “Wu-Tangs elite” (dude that impersonates Ghostface) that pretty much says it all…
1. No Church in the Wild (ft. Frank Ocean) – Thought the beat was kinda average at first to be honest wit yall. But the shit been growin on me. The fact that Jay brought back one of his most boring flows…the same one he used on Pray off American Gangster…didnt help nothin tho. Yeezy drops his least EMPHASIZED bars in a minute n gets the green light from Jiggaman to bring autotune back. I dont kno what hour in the day this shit was recorded but it sounds like some 5 AM shit. In the end tho… both them niggas got the job done n start shit off on the rite foot nahmean. The victim of Breezy’s high pitched goon squad attack did his thing too.
2. Lift Off (ft. Beyonce) – I almost aint wanna even comment on this shit son…. I dont even kno what to say bout it yo. This shit sounds like the anthem the fairies in Ferngully would use to go to war against evil humans to or some shit b. This shit is like Shia LeBeouf in song form yo. Lissenin to this shit is like havin ya ears penetrated by a million microscopic dicks namsayin. Shit sounds like niggas doin aerobics on a magical cloud of daisies. How many meadows did Kanye cartwheel across before he decided to make this beat? Seriously yo…. Jus how many lily pads did the nigga skip across the pond on before he got inspired to make some shit like this? Definitely one a the worst songs Jay ever been involved in…thats includin those lame joints off Vol 3 wit Amil n Mariah or the worst songs off Kingdom Come….EVEN the Timbo joints off Blueprint 3. Like this joint is SOFT son. Guess thats why Jay only spit like 5 n a half bars on it. Its like the song Yung Berg would play before he goes n commits his latest string of L’s. Shit is jus terrible son…especially since it took like 6 niggas to produce this muthafucka.
3. Niggas in Paris – If you can ignore the homoerotic title the shit actually aint bad son. I prefer it once the beat changes up tho. It starts off soundin like some shit them Young Money niggas mighta left behind in the studio one day. Like I swear I can hear Gudda Gudda gettin his mediocre on in the background for the first 2:43 minutes. But then shit gets dramatic n its all good yo. it aint really the monster track niggas made that shit out to be tho.
4. Otis (ft. Otis Redding) – First off they need to not be actin like Otis Redding is a “featured” artist on this shit. Since when do niggas sample a dude n then call that shit a feature. Son aint even been alive for like 40 years b. Otis Redding is my dude tho…so dont get that shit twisted son. That bein said…this shit still goes nahmean. Folks been divided on this joint for a minute…but that aint stop the dozen hasbeen ass niggas who hopped on this shit from strugglin the fuck out on it (Im lookin at you DMX).
5. Gotta Have It – This shit probably the least Neptunes soundin beat the Neptunes ever produced yo. Not sayin thats a bad thing tho. Im glad they aint bring no bongos or space sounds to this shit g. Niggas is jus tradin bars on some back n forth shit n basically talkin bout the usual shit they do. Kinda jus a filler joint nahmean. It probably wont be the next single or nothin…but its still a ill joint namsayin. This shit also got The Godfather of Soul’s voice all over it…but they aint put “featuring James Brown” on the tracklist for some reason. Guess they missed that one.
6. New Day – “Me n the RZA connect”….thats a nice little quasi-hook rite ther namsayin. Sorry yo…this aint the 36 Chambers RZA…but it aint the “fuckin ridicalish” aint had a meal in a hot minute soundin RZA neither yo. It basically dont sound like a RZA joint at all son. He aint bring out the pointy ass rings n get on his BONG BONG shit or nothin but the god did his thing namsayin. Shit has Kanyes fingerprints all over it still tho.
7. Thats My Bitch – I aint the biggest fan a this shit rite here yo. It aint horrible or nothin but I remember when this shit was unleashed at the end a last year n it still aint grow on me like that. Its got all that retro hip hop shit happenin on it but I aint feelin the end results like that. Not sayin its wack….but I be skippin this joint usually.
8. Welcome To The Jungle – If Jay gon insist on usin this niggas bullshit ass beats still…the least he can do is make sure that Swizzy dont go near the booth yo. Ayo Snoop Budden…nobody gon need to hear you gettin ya “One hand in the air if you dont really care” on durin the hooks to no joints ever ever ever again son. Jus go back to contaminatin whats left of Alicia Keys n stop cashin in those favors niggas owe you to get on these high profile joints you malnourished ass lookin muthafucka. Son been urinatin wackness on these songs for years now b…. so can we jus acknowledge that the nigga got no business actin like he kno how to put together a hook now n stop lettin this whippet lookin muthafucka get near a mic?
9. Who Gon Stop Me – Now THIS shit is a problem yo. When it started the god was like ok cool….you kno…I was enjoyin it….the bassline was soundin like a lion growlin n shit. There wasa ill mood to it. Im diggin the joint namsayin….but then it starts really transformin into a monster after a couple minutes….n its like yo…we got a serious contender for best song on the album now. By the middle it sounds like niggas is drivin Lamborghinis around in the studio n drums is hittin like automatic weapons. I love this track son.10. Murder to Excellence – Another ill joint. Not a lot I can say bout it tho son. If you heard it you kno its jus a solid track namsayin. Like a lotta these songs its got a change up in the beat halfway through. If I had to guess Id say its probably Wyclef’s favorite song on the album tho.
11. Made In America (ft. Frank Ocean) – First of all son….Lionel Richie called from 1986 n said he wants his song back yo. Word. Sade jus holla’d on twitter to say this shit is soft as fuck namsayin. I think Elton John wants to conceive babies to this joint b. Drake said he gon soak in his lotion pool to this shit rite here for like a week son. I think Wiz Khagina is scissorin wit Amber Rose to this shit rite now as we speak yo. I heard this shit gon be used for the next Gwyneth Paltrow movie too. I dont kno how the same nigga that did Who Gon Stop Me had anything to do wit this shit but apparently he did nahmean. This shit sounds like two niggas hang glidin over the ocean together at sunset holdin hands son. I think this is bout to be on Yung Berg’s yoga playlist. I cant fuck wit this shit at all b. This shit is like audio lesbian comin out my speakers son.
12.Why I Love You (ft. Mr Hudson) – Its almost like they knew they couldnt end the album on that Made In America shit. Contrary to the title n the fact that it says “featuring Mr Hudson” on this muthafucka….this shit goes hard yo. Mr Hudson does his thing too son. I fucks wit this joint forreal forreal. Might even be my favorite tomorrow.
13. Illest Motherfucker Alive – Ok now…when you call a song “Illest Motherfucker Alive” you really gotta live up to that shit son. This shit kinda almost lives up to the name of the song…but it aint that special yo. But Im not mad at it. Actually if Made in America n Lift Off made the album I dont kno why this shit is jus a bonus track namsayin. I think Breezy’s cousins are singin at the end a the song tho.
14 H.A.M. – This joint is still ass. Id rather listen to a whole Tyga mixtape son.
15. Primetime – This shit cool namsayin. Aint like my favorite song on earth or nothin….but No I.D. aint go n “Timbaland” these niggas wit no bullshit ass beat at least. Son always comes through wit sumthin decent or better. This shit better than decent tho nahmean.
16. The Joy (ft. Curtis Mayfield) – This shit shoulda been a official track on the album b. I dont care how old it is now…I still love this joint. I guess they aint wanna give they fans all this old shit…which is cool namsayin. But…AGAIN yo… if Lift Off gon be on the album anyway…you might as well jus swap that wit some old shit that AINT softer than Game’s emotions b. N they put Thats My Bitch on the album anyway so maybe there aint no real excuse for makin this shit a bonus joint. But why these niggas got “featuring Curtis Mayfield” on this shit? I think Jay n Ye better cut that shit out before it becomes a trend for these lame muthafuckas to start havin “featuring (insert dead artist here)” on they joints too b.
Word yo. The album might got some filler n a couple joints thats jus beyond wack…but its still a pretty tight project son. Niggas produced the shit outta this muthafucka b. This aint jus some shit where dudes looped up a beat n banged out some drums on top n called that shit a finished product namsayin. Nah yo…niggas put some work in to get this shit done par. Tone appreciates that type a artistry tho nahmean. But it aint like its all fancy tricks n aint no real magic happenin under all the bullshit smoke n mirrors n shit namsayin. Niggas straight went HAM on summa thses tracks son…but not on the HAM joint tho. Another thing I appreciate is that niggas tried sumthin original n new. Plus they aint flood this shit wit guest appearances from they artist rosters n turn it into the Firm album. Hate it or love it…its probably gon be like that rare joint where niggas memorize all the lyrics to it after a week either way. Anyways I give this shit a solid 4 Zeus slaps namsayin.
Via: Big Ghost