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Prefab Sprout – When Love Breaks Down

Love is defined differently by others. My idea of love is in a different language than yours…

Loving someone literally means loving them in the various and sometimes endless ways they expect to be loved. That in itself requires a detailed understanding of the individual on hand. It means that you have to decipher how that person likes to be loved amongst a long list of other things that must be decoded, otherwise, they won’t be able to appreciate the way you love anyhow. Love is a different language, unique to everyone. How could the world communicate if we all spoke an entirely different and unique language? It would be impossible until we began to decipher all of the languages one by one. How long then would that take? Well, that’s how long it would take to love someone the way they want you to love them. Understanding the issues more now?

People just love to toss the word ‘communication’ around, not knowing that communication just means being able to speak the other persons language. That’s right, the language that only they know how to speak. When you communicate with someone you’re talking to all their past experiences, their mistakes, their trust issues, their loves, their heartbreaks and everything else good or bad they’ve had to deal with. Bad communication is either neglect for caring to understand that concept or just not caring at all. That’s when that other “C” word, compromise comes in. Thing is, compromising is never the real answer because it’s simply agreeing to the fact that two people couldn’t truly communicate themselves to each other. That said, don’t be surprised when the problem returns because it will…

So what happens then? Love Breaks Down. That’s it. Someone in the equation gets tired of trying. Either the person that needs to be loved in their stubborn own way, or the one that refuses to do so and not give in. Not because they are selfish or uninterested, but simply because they have no clue on what to do in order to change things…

Prefab Sprout – When Love Breaks Down

Things happen in cycles. Most relationships follow a “cycle” per say, or pattern like everything else in life. People follow patterns and cycles themselves all the time. Their daily thoughts and activities, the foods they eat, the shows they watch, the music they listen to. Most live this systematic existence without ever realizing, so most, find themselves in scenarios and cycles that never change. That my friends is the problem in itself right there; the fact that people don’t ever come to realize that they are living a cycle or pattern full of consistent redundancies. You ever find yourself in the same sort of relationships, yet all with very different people? If so, then you must realize that it isn’t everyone else that’s living in a cycle that doesn’t change. It’s quite simply, and very logically ― YOU!

So, what can you do, or, what can someone who knows better, and truly cares enough, do to help? Well, if you are the latter, then you will rarely find yourself in these situations anyway, since you already come with the understanding of being able to spot “cycles” in general, and, the factors within these repetitive cycles that make them so in the first place. If you are the person constantly living within these monotonous cycles then it becomes just a little harder. First, you must be able to admit to yourself that the issues and problems originate from you. Acceptance, or, like in any other program of abuse, admitting that you have a problem. Then you must take the time to analyze yourself and notice these patterns as they are happening. Recently implementing a great piece of perspective from a book titled “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari”, I myself tend to take five minutes, at the end of every day, to analyze my day, and decisions and outcomes entirely. Only when taking this type of approach to your own life will you have the ability to change the cycles or patterns as they are taking place ― in real time; in your ‘now’.

Need a second to digest that? Well, let’s say for instance that in your last romantic relationship you become quite obsessed with spying on, what you thought was, a duplicitous partner, and, long story short, that love broke down and ended. Fast forward to a few months later and somehow, your new romantic fling misses your phone call, and for whatever reason, you instantly find yourself speculating that, of course, they must be up to no good. You then continue on to conjure up all kind of ideas on how you will obsessively spy on this one, and catch them in the atrocious act of being deceitful. Aside from the issue of why anyone would waste their time on such a thing if they truly suspected someone of being unfaithful, it is also unhealthy behavior and unacceptable in any and all cases to spy. (I am just using this an example to illustrate.) So, rather than installing third party software onto your unsuspecting partners smart phone, you should immediately recognize the common denominator in the equation of this ceaseless cycle and simply pick a different path. Whatever that path is I leave up to you, but just know that choosing a different path than you have in the past, within a cycle, changes that cycle, and its outcome entirely. The outcome becomes the beginning of a new cycle, a new world full of endless possibilities, and with each and every single cycle, or pattern, within your life, you and only you have the absolute power to change things. So I say to you all, learn to recognize the cycles, and manipulate them with the changes that you want, which will always be evident in the results.

Now, this isn’t to say that there are those people that simply don’t care to ‘Learn how to love you’, even when they know these ideologies well. These are those people that simply don’t care enough about you to make the effort, and so, love breaks down with them no matter what, but good riddance, no? Good thing is that once you are aware of how these cycles and patterns work within your own life, you can see these people coming from a mile away, and avoid them altogether…

I don’t know how to love you because you are just incapable of knowing how to love me.

When love breaks down
The lies we tell,
They only serve to fool ourselves - When Love Breaks Down

Stop fooling yourself and live within the reality of now. Always.

cp11

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