There are two things going on this morning. My super fantastic heater (real talk, it is super fantastic not even sarcasm right now) in my apartment has caused sweltering temperatures, so my apologies ahead of time for any loopy $h*t I’m about to say. The second thing that’s happening is really beautiful. It’s not the first time I’ve heard this song, but it truly feels like the first time. There’s a quality to the mystery that comes with it every time, maybe because of how much I love the original. In my head I almost want the song to be different every time, and in some ways, it is. This song builds up throughout, until the very end. It doesn’t reach a climax necessarily, it just keeps adding on and adding on. Here’s the thing though, I’m playing it over the speakers in my apartment. There’s an open-air loft in my apartment and I’m sitting in the loft, feeling like I should be wearing massive sunglasses and lots of flowy light-fabric scarves that I can hold and swish around while I dance like a freedom flower child down the stairs of the loft into a galloping bliss of sunshine and happiness.
That’s just me. Holtoug is a producer from Denmark, where he has decidedly launched himself into the world of electronic club music. This song is not as clubby as some of his other songs, which is great for the purpose of Dusty Springfield. But his Soundcloud is really fun and definitely worth checking out if you’re about to have a day of work like I am. I mean, who doesn’t want to listen to fun electro when they’re writing twelve page papers? Just saying, there’s a Grapevine bootleg. What?
I guess it’s the amount of work that I’ve done this week and my constant thoughts about it, paired with the events of yesterday, and this sudden surge of heat in my apartment, that is making me super strange and loopy. I’m into it though, I think we deserve it every once in a while when the world gets very real. I’m thinking about so many things at the same time. I’m trying to be an adult in brain and a child in spirit. I’m also trying to finish these finals and relax my mind. And you know what else? One of my professors the other day said that the trace of adulthood is one’s own knowledge and understanding that the world is a terrible, terrible place, coming to terms with that knowledge, and then learning how to build a life around that.
I’ve known that, but I have never felt it as true more than I do today. I grew up in Connecticut and that’s where my family currently resides. My hometown is just a short distance from where yesterday’s shootings took place, and I have never felt more shaken in my whole entire life. 2012, you have been the realest year to me. Thank you for that. While my prayers for humanity and families involved in yesterday’s events stay constant, I’ve realized that all we can do is pick up and try to move forward. We’ve got good things going for us, regardless of how invisible they seem at the moment. For one thing, you guys have the minds that can comprehend and do incredible things. I know that because you read this blog, and that says a lot.
Take this song with you today wherever you go. It’s helping me dance through the sadness of reality.