Jesse Ruben – This Is Why I Need You

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From what I can see about the world, is that it needs to learn more forgiveness. It’s easy to fuck up, especially when there is no one to guide us properly. Cycles get repeated and the craziness that ensues from them continues from one generation to the next because of it. There is no end in sight for people that can’t learn to forgive because they are much too closed-minded to learn anything from the mistakes of others, let alone theirs.

Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou may be wise in thy latter end.” Proverbs 19:20

I find myself in a place where I have to forgive the things that are done to me in an instant. I can’t afford to hold onto negativity and bad vibes anymore. Holding on to those things will destroy me if I do. It seems like I only find myself in the worst situations whenever I can’t let go of some bullshit from the past. So here I am telling you, as my friend, to just let love in and forgive. Forgive the mistakes a lover has foolishly made, and if they make it again then forgive them then too because in the long run it’s only going to ruin your life. For every piece of negativity that we enbosom, a tiny piece of our peace is destroyed. Good thing is that unlike brain cells, peace within us can be regenerated.

There are too many problems, and no one who cares
There are so many roads, and they all need repairs
This is why I need you”

I realized that I have unnecessarily judged all of my past lovers. I have expected perfection from every facet of themselves when I myself have been the absolute farthest from perfect. This has only led to the destruction of every single one of those relationships. This has been my excuse and way out of the responsibilities that come from being in a monogamous relationship. Fear of failure, fear of being left alone to rot in my deathbed. Fear of losing the passionate love that once was at the hands of someone other than myself. I’ve destroyed loves that could have all been so beautiful from fear and an inability to forgive. This is why I can tell you today that forgiveness is a huge part and key to finding peace within one’s self.

I have too many questions, and places to go
There are too many options, far too many unknowns
This is why I need you”

Ultimately, if I need to be honest with myself, it should be in the fact that I was not intended or meant to stay in one place forever. My soul was meant to wander to the unexplored corners of the world as much as the unexplored corners of my mind. My heart was meant to travel farther than it could possibly ever beat, and my spirit was meant to explore the reaches of the galaxy, even if just through meditation. But in order to get to all of these places I must leave every single ounce of negativity that those parts of me (mind, body, soul & spirit) have held onto until this day, and the only way to do so is to forgive. So this is me forgiving, and hoping that one day everyone I hurt will forgive me too. Hoping. Hoping. Hoping…

There’s not enough chocolate, there’s too many chores
There are so many mountains, that I haven’t explored