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Is Gay a Choice?

I don’t know if being gay is a choice or something you are born with. I can’t say that I have ever thought that I was a girl trapped in a man’s body. I do know that human beings are curious by nature. I do see how a boy can fall in love with his mom, or a daughter could fall in love with her dad. It makes all the logical sense to me because these are the first people you know and see, and even these parents have tough times explaining the difference between being in love with someone, and just loving them to their own kids; taking love to different tiers would be an even greater task, especially when the people that were supposed to explain it to them before you were just as lost, if not even more.

I can see how cousins that hang out a lot could experiment with sex with each other. I believe that parenting is one of the thousands of factors that matter in how children develop, and essentially what kind of adults they turn out to be.

Scientists and philosophers have tried to explain, for years, that the choices we make are based on the factors we are exposed to and given. Economists believe that when the choices of poor societies are controlled, but they don’t know that these choices are controlled, they remain in the state of poverty, never being able to leave or succeed into higher classes. Think about it, if I give you a multiple choice exam and every question has answers A-D, it really does not matter what you pick because I control every possible answer anyway… Understand?

Anyway, I was just listening to this badass tune by the collective Saint Ballantine in my headphones while a significant other is sitting here watching the Bruce Jenner interview on 20/20, and I guess the aggressiveness of the song’s production mixed with the delicious bottle of red wine that I am breezing through made me think about my own views on whether being gay is a choice. I won’t go into my own views because this isn’t the appropriate channel to do so in, but I will say that the American Media has a big fault in how the world perceives our great nation. We have gone from being one of the greatest empires in the history of the world to being the ridicule of it. I’m not saying that I even care about how we appear to others because I firmly believe that this is one of the greatest functioning countries  on the planet filled with some of the greatest individuals from all over it, but, I will say that I do care about the ridiculous shit we as a society give importance to. I think we need a refresh and re-boot in all of our asses, as a country, to get back to what truly matters, and get our priorities together.  Instagram likes, and this importance on numbers (which aren’t even real) has got to go. I mean, what exactly is a five, or a nine? By themselves, numbers ain’t shit anyway.

TGIF tho.

Saint Ballantine – Fashionably Late feat. Amrit

Harsh Laughter Over Pretty Smiles

Screen Shot 2015-04-24 at 12.11.57 AM

I watched a show recently that was about people looking for love in a club on one single night. This somehow reminded me of every relationship I have ever had if I had to put together a four minute reel of all of them to show the world.

Throughout that reel I have learned that love is more about finding what feels right. It’s about finding someone who will keep your heart afloat even when the sky is falling. The best loves are not the ones that you can wake up smiling to, but the ones that you can go to sleep without needing to see. Let me explain.

Too many times we go out and wait for the next street corner that is coming up around the bend in order to see if it’s better than the last. Sometimes, the corners seem much prettier, and so we get out of our cars and walk onto them only to find out that they are boring because nothing happens on these streets, ever, at all. Once in a while we run out of gas and get stuck on the worst corners in the whole neighborhood, only to find out that these corners are the ones we fall in love with because it on these particular corners where the most things are happening, all the time.

Love isn’t about a pretty smile or the best eyes. It isn’t about the sexiest beard or the finest hair. Love is about finding the people that will maintain our minds the busiest with laughter, smiles and just the right amounts of affection to keep us wanting more, forever.

Use that advice. Find love in the laughter that projects out of a beautiful soul instead of solely a set of pearly whites.

Control Your Mind


Her: “It’s been ages since I’ve seen you.”
Me: ‘I’ve been really busy.’

We have the capabilities to develop anti-addictive bodies. We have the power to avoid sickness. We can control happiness in our lives. All of these things come with the ultimate control of one’s mind.

Controlling one’s own mind is an ongoing practice. That means that unless you are in full control of all of the thoughts in your mind at all times then you have to learn to become fully aware of what is happening with and within it. ADHD can be combatted this way too.

Through meditation we are able to learn how to stop thoughts that keep us from enjoying the moments in front of us. With practice it becomes easier and easier to change the channels in your mind the way you change them on your TV when there is something in front of you that you are watching and that you don’t like. But the important part of it all is not just do this when you start thinking of an ex that you need to let go of. No. It’s important to understand that this is something you need to do in order to simply enjoy what is happening all around you.

Too often in our society we go out with friends and spend more time with our phones than enjoying our moments with them. Why would I want to hang with you ever again if all you did when we hung out was pick up your phone every three and a half minutes? I wouldn’t, and I won’t. Enjoying the moments happening right in front of you is how happiness is achieved because happiness is a choice. Staying out of the past and away from the future, in your mind, is how you enjoy the moments happening right now. Even if you are just sitting at home with the TV off in silence there are so many things happening. When was the last time you closed your eyes and just listened to everything going on? Birds singing and chirping, leaves and bushes rustling from light winds, cars driving by, children laughing and playing, or just your heart beating in rhythm with the rest of the planet. There’s so much taking place just when you think that nothing is happening.

You”, is a beautiful ballad with extraordinary vocals that will make you instantly love this girl. To be candid, I had never heard about her before today, but the moment the tune began it was instant love. The lyrics of course were gorgeously written, and so the combination of those two factors along with its quality production made it an immediate winner for me. But then there is something else to it. There’s a hint of leftover pain that remains in her vocals and felt through her delivery. It’s that pain that made me connect a whole lot more than the average musical connections that find me. It is that very pain that I can relate to which made me put this heavenly tune on repeat and just write.

Life is a journey without a map for some of us. It’s a trek to explore the unknown lands of the human heart, and it’s one that we should constantly be discovering new things in. If you’re not discovering new things every single day then you are wasting a precious life that someone else could have had because this world and this life and all of the things we experience in it are one big fat gift, and the only tragedy that does exist in it is to waste it away.

Ultimately, it is only through the control of the mind that we can release those thoughts of the past that create sadness, and, those worries about a future that may never arrive and who are also the culprits of anxiety and stress. Once you master control of your mind in that way, by enjoying the now, you will understand that happiness is a decision that can be made in those moments.

The Human Must Travel

Consider yourself the luckiest human beings in the history of mankind.

We now live in a world where the lines between reality and virtual reality are so blurred it’s increasingly more difficult to separate the two. People find as much identity flaunting in their Instagram post as they do walking down the street. Some people take everything too far but overall I think it’s a beautiful thing and while there are still remnants of the past confusing our progress, we’re more in a matrix type existence that we’ve ever been and U.O.E.N.O it.

Our reality and our imaginations are coexisting like never before. Ray Kurzweil predicts that singularity will occur around 2045, I don’t know if you fools even listen to music but that shit is mind blowing. Unfortunately we’re stuck on pause and our culture hasn’t advanced as fast as our technology. Most of us don’t see this because we think progress and time move linearly but time is illmatic and the big secret is that progress, especially in terms of technology happens exponentially. That’s why we are the luckiest humans in history so far, we’re dead smack at the cusp of an exponential leap where the world as we know it will be completely left behind.

The universe is a projection, the Yogis have been saying that shit way before any of the technology we have existed yet here it is happening. All forms of distribution are being challenged, as are concepts of ownership, health and manufacturing. If you knew all the shit that’s brewing up you would think you’re living in a sci-fi movie which you are but we’ll save that for another time. The point is, shit is getting turned upside down yet here we are stuck in all the same cultural patterns, doing the same things, running the same movie over and over on loop. For the first time ever we have physical manifestations of the type of shit religious legends we’re doing – they’re 3D bioprinting organs playboy. The creative nature of the world is fully exposed now but we’re not traveling…

Our minds, hearts, souls and eyes must travel and now more than ever we have the power to do so. This power, one which is growing exponentially by the day, means we can explore and challenge everything we know. Our vision can go new places for art, we can explore new sounds and experience things in entirely new ways that simply we’rent possible. The internet has made it a joke for our expression to travel, Airbnb and similar concepts are just getting started and soon physical travel will be just as easy. With all this happening we have to unlearn…

We programmed your brain…

Just as technology is challenging things we must challenge things. I saw a Burberry ad on Sunset of two pretty models wearing a scarf, I have literally seen that same ad a million times in my life. Same thing with a Calvin ad, they didn’t make me travel, they made me sit on my couch feeling like I was watching a rerun over and over again. We have the power now and we can’t sit still anymore because the world is moving exponentially and so must we, we must travel.

Inspired by Diana Vreeland & Digital Artist Dark Triangles’ – Vision

Dark Triangles

Better Days Ahead


As a writer I want to write exactly what my heart is thinking and feeling at every moment. As a Cancerian by birth, I have a struggle inside of me that does not want to break anyone’s heart. Even if the words I am writing are just feelings that pass, I know that someone somewhere is going to read those words and feel bad about them. But I can’t hold it in or help it anymore. It isn’t my job to program people so that they understand what others go through. Empathy is one of those tricks that you definitely cannot teach to old dogs.

Music makes me feel. That reason alone is why my thirst for new sounds just gets larger and larger as the days go by. Lucky for me, I have access to an endless supply of it through our submissions, and even luckier for me, I come across thirst quenchers like Misun’s latest release quite often.

The temperature in NYC has dropped back to normal beginning-of-the-Spring numbers; no coats necessary, a sweater is just fine. About an hour ago, on my walk back from a local restaurant, the light from the day was still out and a heavy fog covered everything in sight. It reminded me of some days I once passed in Primrose Hill, and that reminded me of some far away love I once had out there too. It’s not that I missed that lover per say, it was more that I loved that moment when I was in it, so much so that it somehow compared to my “now“. That’s when I realized that in those moments our souls are reminding our minds that they defiantly had told us that better days were always ahead.  It’s not that we are wishing to be in those moments, it’s us bragging about better ones that are here.

When we see life as constantly beautiful, and begin to embrace everything that happens in it with a grain of salt, bad moments stop occurring and good ones bombard our days. It was a simple cool-breathed fog, and this Misun jam that reminded me of just that. Things get better because we can always see them as worse, but once  we learn to let them go and stop holding on to bad energy, only the good waves end up filling our space.

Misun — After Me

Weekend Mini Mix — April 2015ii


There’s no better way to the start of a beautiful day than music that touches your inner soul. That’s what we have in this mini mix today. We’ve created the vibe for the rest of your day whether you are headed off for a hike, walk or run on the canyon, or a sunny day New York City brunch, hit play and enjoy this wavy vibe that will set your day and weekend off just right.

Yesterday I allowed some bad news to affect my entire day and vibe, releasing that same bad news in form of my very own energy. I was out and about enjoying the Spring air, but my shoulders were tense and my head wasn’t in the moments that were taking place right in front of me; my mind was elsewhere. Finally, I realized and remembered that it is when we tend to drift off into those negative spaces and think about them that we attract that same energy back. Being that communication is minimally verbal, I noticed that our bodies communicate to others about what we are feeling. If we are mad at the world, then our shoulders tense up in aggressive form, so that when someone else is walking our way they are able to notice that tension. It is in those instances where we tend to pull in other bad energies because if someone else is having a bad day and they see you in an aggressive stance, they might just misinterpret where your tension is coming from (thinking that you are staring at them) and take theirs out on you. Basically, sadness attracts sadness, anger attracts anger, and happiness attracts happiness. This is why it was important for me to pull myself out of that mind-state and funk and force myself to stay within the moments in front of me also forcing myself to smile.

Science claims that forcing a smile decreases stress, so I went with that yesterday and it began to work. I began to take the situation that was stressing me out a bit, in my head, and started forgetting all about it. After a while, the thoughts were gone and I was my happy self once more.

What do you want to do today? Do you want to be happy or something else because essentially all of the control is ours to do so. People will literally tell you that you need to worry more about the things in your life, i.e. bills, your future, kids, marriage, etc, but the truth is the exact opposite in that we don’t need to worry about anything at all; at least, we shouldn’t. Worrying does nothing but to put is in negative moods and attract more negativity into our personal spaces, and I for one don’t want nor need any negative energy around me ever again.

Whatever you decide, whatever you’re going through and whatever it is that you’re feeling, this mini mix is guaranteed to bring you nothing but positive energy and vibes.

“Let’s get high!” —Aeroplane

WAS — Don’t Blow It, Under the Sea

WAS sous la mer cover

My weeks are set up differently than most, but a lot like many of yours. I like happy hours in SoHo on Mondays, and night’s on the town with friends on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I set up all of my meetings on Thursdays between the record labels, music consulting accounts, marketing gigs and music programming clients all day. On Fridays I conduct recapped reports for myself of all of the current week’s work for progress tracking, and on Saturdays I visit the restaurants that I program music for throughout Tribeca, Hell’s Kitchen, Astoria, Williamsburg, the Meatpacking District, Chelsea, the Upper East and the Upper West. And still, everyday I have to write because something inside of me never feels right if I don’t. I won’t lie to you, there are some days when I have zero idea what to write about and find myself staring at a blank screen for half an hour at a time. I’ll go through all of my daily reads and blogs, catch up on shows that I like, and listen to countless hours of music until something matches my mood and inspires me. Today, for whatever reason, this happened with We Are Scientists’ latest release, titled: “Don’t Blow It, Under the Sea”. 

Maybe it’s the rainy NYC day outside that’s whispering its cool breath through my windows and shining its bright grays over my head. Maybe I just needed something mellow for a week that seems far more hectic in my mind than it actually was in real life. Who knows, but the track set something soothing a sail inside of me and here I am writing away.

I wanted to write about that classless ESPN cuntbag that’s been making all the media rounds this morning, and how we as a society really need to stop rewarding ugly behavior like hers, but what I have learned over the years through writing on EMPT is that love is a much more powerful way to rid our independent worlds of evils like that. For all of the bullies and mean spirited ugly-on-the-inside people that exist out there, only teaching our children about love can essentially eliminate such darkness.

I heard something today that was beautiful in that same sense. It was a newscaster talking about how her grandma always told her that she should never look down at people unless she was reaching down to lend them a hand. That right there is how the root of love is cultivated and grown from over the root of just pure and nasty evil. That ESPN mean girl that’s making waves today isn’t really at fault because somewhere down the line she was embedded with the entitlement she genuinely feels makes her better and more powerful over others, and that simply comes from a lack of horrendous parenting. Let’s stop pretending that we don’t know where the problems come from. Let’s stop pretending that we don’t know when someone is full of shit because we all feel it. Let’s take a stand for others that have hearts that can be broken by ugly words that come from the most ignorant places.

“We might as well just do this when we talk about love.”

In the long run, let’s talk more about love and less about everything else.

#TBT: Joan Jett – Bad Reputation

Originally posted on June 27th, 2009:

Here’s my favorite brunette Joan Jett with “Bad Reputation”, the rebel anthem.

“Oh no no no no no, not me me me me me.”

P.S. – This song was used as the theme song for the greatest show about high school ever – “Freaks & Geeks.” For those into Judd Apatow & Seth Rogan (Superbad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, etc), that’s the show they produced before people caught on to their humor. James Franco, Jason Segal, they’re all in it. Great show.

Joan Jett – Bad Reputation

GRRL PAL — Radar

Radar Cover

A series of motion picture moments that never stop. A collection of black and white polaroids on the white walls of a corridor than never ends. Volumes upon volumes of recorded whispers played back in a pitch black space that has no barriers. This is what I feel when I think about her.

We held hands as I showed her my version of New York City. She held onto me tightly because such a big place can be scary that way, and because my body guarded her from any of the big city’s dangers she had only once read in books or seen on newscasts. In awe, she managed to stare at every corner of the concrete jungle the way I still do, and just like me, she immediately loved what she saw. There were no alleys that were too dirty for her and no structures that could be named eyesores; everything was beautiful because it simply existed and was real. I guess that’s the thing about a city like this, that if you don’t see it for yourself then you can’t possibly feel the magical energy that it holds. Anyway, it was the way that she looked at everything that made me fall in love with her as she smiled at each little bit of it all.

In the whirlwind, somewhere, we kissed a lot, made tons of love and laid motionlessly in love with one another, profoundly intoxicated with the city’s grasp. Then one day she disappeared as if she had just been a figment of my imagination; a dream that I had only dreamt. At first, the sidewalks seemed different to me. They seemed lonely and empty even though they were full to the brim with pedestrians. The streets seemed as if they went nowhere, even though every single car on them was headed somewhere. I sat on a park bench in Central Park and the birds, kids and trees all seemed to have been on mute because the only thing I could hear was the beating of my heart, and somehow I swore that if I listened hard enough I would be able to pinpoint hers. In the end, I never found her beating heart, and the trees and birds and children’s laughters all came back up in volume to where I could hear them again.

Weeks later, life in NYC was back to normal. The spring kicked in and everything that once was began to become again. Those same sidewalks that I once felt lonely in became crowded with the potential for anything. Those streets that were once going nowhere fast became routes that could lead me to anywhere my heart felt like rushing to.

Throughout it all I learned that the best love is the one you give all of yourself to and never worry about how long it will last. Those naked kind of loves become the ones that you never forget because it is within those loves that you can be the best and most honest version of you. It also taught me that when we give those versions of us to others, that we too become unforgettable for them, even if we never see them again in this lifetime.

Radar by GRRL PAL made me remember all of this. Maybe it was something in its haunting chants, or just the fast-paced drums that reminded me of the whirlwind I will never forget.

Crime of the Century

Imagine for a moment thinking that the very first person who gave you attention as a teenager was the best you could do. Having no life experience or understanding you think there’s no way you’ll find someone better and so you do drastic and desperate things to try to keep this person around, things that under any frame of judgement would be considered pathetic among a whole host of other psychological issues. This is the reality for a person ruled by fear. It’s more or less all our realities to varying degrees.

The truth is life is full of endless possibilities and not only will you meet someone else but also someone better, more in line with the truth you we’re brave enough to pursue. The universe has a way of rewarding people who stick to expressing themselves but a lack of trust in your own decisions will keep you running in place. Now I’m not talking fear in the sense of having someone hold a gun to your head, fear in that sense is an essential element of survival. I’m talking about the imaginary fear we have in our day to day lives. Fear of losing a job, fear of being alone, fear of being disliked, etc – these are the fears that make humans pathetic and insecure. The world is safer now than it’s ever been at any other point in history and yet there is more fear now than ever before.

Often times people think the solution to fear is fearlessness but that is a flawed assumption, one that usually comes from people who never actually do anything. Any world class performer will tell you that it’s not about overcoming fear, it’s about embracing the very struggle you’ve exaggerated in your imagination.

I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” – Mark Twain
How many times have you thought your life will never go on if something happened only to finally have it happen to realize that it wasn’t anywhere as bad as you thought. The sooner you embrace the very thing that is causing fear the sooner you’ll get over whatever imaginary world you’re creating around it. The problem is we see things as either heaven or hell but the bread and butter of life is in the middle.

Make decisions not in the light of positivity or the darkness of negativity but in the balance of neutrality.”

Time on earth is limited and when we spend it doing things because of fear we totally compromise having the most beautiful existence. You settle for a job you hate or you make a desperate move to keep a toxic relationship alive, fear makes people the worst version of themselves. We have to be vigilant when it comes to fear, vigilant about understanding how much we exaggerate things that don’t exist. A life lived in fear is the pathetic simply because we are capable of limitless expression. That means everything can be manifested or overcome through our power to create. However, we not only manifest positive but also negative and when you create from a place of fear there is no greater disrespect to that power, that is the crime of the century.

Supertramp – Crime of the Century

P.S. For the Hip Hop heads, this is the song Just Blaze sampled for ‘Breath,’ the Fabolous song. It’s an incredible song to begin with, great flip by Just. Don’t skip around and listen all the way through to get the full scope of this epic.