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RKCB – Lights Low

I remember years ago I had this friend who used to always talk about his “secret girlfriend.” He would talk about how she’d booty call him, she’d only come around at night, she’d leave before he woke up in the morning, etc. It sounded like heaven and the stories were always pretty captivating, though calling her “secret” always struck me as ironic considering he talked about her incessantly, but that’s not either here nor there. Usually she’d be wasted when she’d call him at like 2am when the bars closed, and she’d come over and have her way with him. Or sometimes she’d come over before she went out to party, complaining to my buddy about how annoying her friends are, or bragging to him about how many dudes hit on her when she went out the night before. The thing was, she was super hot, so she could easily get away with all the vapid one-way conversations. She could get away with toying with dudes non-stop, and I’m sure my buddy wasn’t the only one she was toying with at that moment. But, again, she was super hot.

It was all fun and games until he fell in love with her, and then he started to wonder and worry about why they couldn’t take this “relationship” further than some late night calls and drunken (at least she was) romps in the sheets (“with the bedposts watching” as singer Casey Barth so eloquently croons). As the situation started to wear on him more, he took inventory of their hang-outs, and realized he had never once seen her in the daylight. The only time she ever made an appearance was after the sun had set, with the “lights low.” In his head he replayed the conversations they had and realized she never once asked him a thing about his life. She just talked and talked and bragged and talked and smoked a cig and talked some more. I remember talking to him while he had this realization, and it felt just like that scene in “High Fidelity” when Jon Cusak’s character realizes that Catherine Zeta-Jones’s character is a rude, mean, awful person without much to offer. But, she was super hot, so…

But as we discussed all the ways she had wronged my buddy, we realized that the way she acted is pretty much the way most guys act with women in general, so all of a sudden he didn’t feel so bad anymore. Maybe it’s good to have the tables turned on you every now and then, it keeps you on your toes.

That said, I feel for Riley Knapp and Casey Barth (RKCB y’all). I’ve seen firsthand how a “secret girlfriend” reduced my buddy to a confused mess of a man. But, again, she was super hot…

BLUFRANK – Feelings Installed

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It’s funny that when I heard this track I instantly pictured dark New York City Winter nights with a lot of fast driving thru Manhattan streets and aves. Take last year, this day. I just left Engine Room’s Holiday Party downtown in FiDi and was headed up the west side highway to Vinateria on the corner of 119th & Frederick to meet Lauren. We were going to my apartment in Harlem afterwards to do what adults do, and then I had to head all the way back down to my friend’s party in the West Village, which ended in Chinatown right after that to see another friend spin. When I relive that night all I see are flashes of NYC traffic and us speeding through the avenues to get by. Now that I think of that night again, we may even have hit up AVENUE as well.

Anyway, The producer of this one: BLUFRANK, claims that the inspiration for this ride your about to listen to comes from:

too many hours spent on Cairo’s Highways! specially the Ring Road.”

I can’t wait to see NYC again. If it’s this winter, then I can’t wait to be in ubers zipping through the city. The holiday lights over 5th Ave, the wet snow on the streets, the cheesy colored food trucks on 6th Ave with lines of smartphones screens down to 7th. The way 57th St. looks coming down off of The West Side Highway, frozen cobblestone streets in Dumbo, candlelit dinners and much-too-dark-to-drink-in wine bars. Big windows peering towards empty Tribeca roads, warming up with fine spirits underneath Pell St., towing our own bottles of Brunello to pizzerias in C. Gardens.

Another little palette-cleanser for your ears. From the highways of Cairo to the streets of New York.

Brika – Sorry

I know you know that I made those mistakes maybe once or twice
By once or twice I mean maybe a couple a hundred times”

I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about today. I woke up feeling like a large part of me was missing, or like I was missing a large part of me. I went to lunch with Jordan and even tried to justify that particular feeling as some scientific hum that only a big city like New York could have. You know, something like: “the natural pulse that all big cities across the world produce”. The sound that emanates from the bowel of those very streets that in itself encapsulates every other sound that occurs. The vibrations of the train tunnels caused by all the people, pipes, steel and other noises down there mixed with all the ambient music playing outside. Cars passing one another over the Brooklyn Bridge heading East and West. The laughter, yells, cries and giggles of all the people just living life. The brisk whistles of the frigid wind over the Hudson and onto desolate Battery Park piers. Sure, I miss all of that, but the only thing missing from me today isn’t here because I’m on my millionth fuck up, somehow…

I like Brika. There’s a part of her vocals that pulls me in close and makes me feel safe. It makes me feel like everything is going to be ok. Like there’s hope. In fact, that’s probably why I love her vocals, because I can hear the hope in them. The part of us all that truly believes that our dreams are going to happen and that our wishes will come true. It’s just familiar to me—like home.

There’s a part of me that’s really sad today without the way my life was, not more than two weeks ago. It wasn’t roses and rainbows all day, but it was still a beautiful one. Who would have thought that closing one door behind me would change my life so drastically in just a couple of weeks? I certainly didn’t.

I waited all day to see if something would happen that would spark something inside of me to write today. Here I am on Jordan’s balcony in North Hollywood, facing beautiful kitchens in the shadows of the night sky. Below me a baby blue pool and jacuzzi, above me heaven with all its brightest stars. Just sitting, thinking—wondering if maybe I will have that old life back again someday. Wondering if those things that feel like tiny fragments of sand escaping my fingertips right now will ever be solid states at the grasp of my will, again.

If I could only have seen the future, somehow, I would have never left that morning. I would have stayed behind with what matters to me the most. And then, right now, I wouldn’t be sitting on this balcony by myself in the dark wondering if I will get that imperfectly beautiful life back.

Is it too late to say that I’m sorry?”

D.Corr – Radio Café

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It was a cold night in LES. Sometime last year during one of the more brutal winters I have ever experienced in NYC. I stood on the street outside of Rochelle’s waiting for a taxi to head back to Harlem. It was raining, so I was under my umbrella. Rain boots, long dark peacoat, black cashmere hat, black wool gloves. It was frigid, and so to pass the time I began doing that thing we do when it’s cold out. You know, where you start thinking of warm places and things to see if your mind is capable of tricking your body. I began thinking of that time we were in Fiji, you and I. As I recalled the first night we spend there, my body began heating up. I couldn’t believe that it was actually working.

My taxi showed up and as it drove me back Uptown I decided to continue to stay in those memories. I remembered going down the giant pool slide together, off of the yacht and into the ocean. I remember the way you looked back at me with that flawless smile. A gorgeous reflection of the sky in your aviators. Your lips magnified in this memory as they approached mine and then we landed underwater—lips still locked, hands all over one another.

It was the actual photo by Remington Long (see above) that inspired this one. The music is the bonus.

I love the Lo-fi sound of D.Corr‘s vocals on this. It’s what brought on the actual memory above of me remembering that memory. I guess it’s the same Lo-fi sound from my childhood. The way really old songs sounded coming out of car radios and Diner jukeboxes that instantly retracted my mind into the past. It’s beautiful how sounds and scents can take us back in time so seamlessly like that.

Radio Café is a tune built on awesome energy that traverses over any possible language barrier because it’s all about vibe instead. Enjoy it.

a Weekend Playlist

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I can’t be responsible for your happiness when I have no idea what makes you sad. Even still, I don’t want to be responsible for your happiness because right now I have my own to worry about.

I know that sounds like a selfish thing to say, but I say it because I can. And I can say it because I have my own shit that I’m going through. Just because I don’t brood around about it all day and show you my sourpuss face, does not mean that I don’t have negative things happening in my life. So like I just said, ‘I, don’t want to be responsible for YOUR happiness, right now.’ 

A large part of existing in this life is measured by moments, but it’s those moments that you are out there living in-the-now that mean anything. It is those moments that are actually being lived, never relived. See, if you are reliving a moment then you are only watching a recording of a previous moment, and are doing absolutely nothing else, in the now.

Stay focused.

If you need your time to sulk, brood, cry, then that’s what you should do. Don’t go out and do it in front of others. It isn’t fair to their moments; to their time and energy.

Here’s a little weekend mix to help you do whatever it is you want do today. Maybe you do just want to sit at home in bed with your laptop and just stay connected all day. Maybe you’re heading out to brunch with the crew and hit this as you get dressed. Maybe you’re headed out for a run in Central Park or at Runyon. And maybe, you hit play just because.