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If I Could Go Back In Time


Have you ever wished that you could go back in time and tell the younger version of you a few tricks of the trade for a brighter future? I have.

If I could go back in time and tell the younger me a few things, I would tell him that searching for who you are is an idea, but that building who you wish to be is a much better one. I would tell myself that everything and anything in life is possible, and, I would remind myself that one of the most powerful tools we have as human beings is our imaginations, and that within imagination comes limitless possibilities and capabilities to life. I would tell myself to steer clear of people who say they need to go out into the world and “find themselves”, because something that has never existed cannot be found, only created; those people will only add confusion to a mind that exists positively in a world that has no shape until we give it one, anyway.

If I could go back in time and tell this younger version of me a few things, I would tell him to stay away from consuming the flesh of the dead. I would tell him that a flower taken from the ground and consumed will sprout another flower in its place, but an animal taken from life to be consumed will not sprout another to take its place. The cycle of life is followed by life, whereas the cycle of death is followed by more death.

If I could back in time and give my adolescent self a few pointers, I would tell myself to love every person that comes in and out of my life with the same passion. I would explain that whenever we feel pain from a broken relationship we are simply selfishly pouting, and that not understanding how beautiful the connection we have made with that person who will no longer be there is worth every irregular heartbeat and tear because later on in life we will realize that the most beautiful and perfect parts of them live within us through the smallest nuances of daily habits.

Sometimes I think about the body lotion I use and remember who influenced that habit in me, and I smile because I remember the most beautiful parts of her through something so simple. Moments when I’m folding bath towels and laugh at the technique picked up through another beautiful love now very long gone. I would tell myself that it is within these things that we should see the need to embrace every love with the same intense passion, because whether they are here or not tomorrow they will show us something that will help us build who we wish to become.

“Swan Song” by Sloes is a gorgeous medley of beautiful sounds entrancingly fused together. The tantalizing violin is pure magic, and the overlaying vocals somehow feel like the perfect companion to it, as the song becomes more of a duet between that violin & Jerome (lead vocals). The rest of the tune is filled with graceful string progressions, enchanting harmonies and a killer percussion that moves us through the interweaving sound waves never letting us go. Swan Song is a good jam to find inspiration in. It’s one of those things that defies the norm by not going with what everyone else perceives to be the traditional idea, and goes against the grain by integrating sounds that most others probably wouldn’t.

Sloes are the path built rather than the used one found.

“just one song left inside of me and then I’m done.”

My Gripe With “Modern Love”

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I have a modern day gripe for the modern day girls of this world. Lately I’ve been seeing articles and opinion pieces on the current state of love affairs between and ♀ . Mainly, what I’ve been reading is how non-committing men seem to be when it comes to defining relationship statuses. Anyway, my gripe it this: ‘In a modern world where male and females are equal, why is it that it still must be left up to the man to take hold and decide on where they want the relationship to go?’.

Throughout my life I have been attracted to strong women. I have ended relationships because the girls in them were weaker than what I craved, or simply indecisive about every aspect of their own lives. I’ve always appreciated a woman who can come up to me on the street and throw me a comment. I’ve always gravitated to the girls that can grab my hand and start up a random conversation out of the blue. So why is it that it seems to me that more and more girls complain about finding themselves in relationships that can only be defined as extended one-night stands? 

To all the girls that feel this way, I say this: take charge and go after what you want because the worse thing that will happen is that the guy or boy involved will simply say “no”. At least then you can make a conscious decision about how you want that relationship to progress, but at least then you won’t be stuck complaining or bickering to your girlfriends about how guys in NYC just won’t commit.

Things happen to each and every one of us that determine how we approach the next relationships that we will be in, but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t all looking for love. Because love is defined so differently by everyone, it is important to start being more direct and more upfront about what you want and expect out of it. The days of waiting for Prince Charming to roll up on you on his stallion are long gone. Instead, you should focus on what exactly it is that you want, and then approach the situation accordingly and without being selfish or childish about it. That means that if you see a handsome guy that makes your palms sweat and all you want to do is fuck his brains out, then approach it that way, without any expectations. However, if you see someone and immediately picture having babies with them and moving to Park Slope, well then understand that what you are seeing will take time and commitment, and that NOT sleeping with them right away might be the only route to take in order to make it there.

Anyhow, life is too short to sit on one side of the gym floor while everyone else is dancing. Get up, go up to the person you want to tango with and ask for the dance. The rest will be up to both of you.

SongRecovery +++ by KUČKA

A Foreign Affair

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A five second love affair lasts for no more than a few months. At the very best, it will last for six months up to a year, but even then one or both parties recognize that it is over long before the cute messages cease and the butterflies in your belly are fully digested.

But who are we to say that these loves don’t hold any value? Who are we to stop the people we call friends from making the very same mistakes of the heart that we did? ‘No one’, because when it was all said and done we could never say that we really regretted any of it, and, in all actuality, we ended up learning so many valuable lessons because of it.

So, are these brief affairs of the heart worth it all? If you ask me, I say: yes.

Life sure is like a box of chocolates in that there are always the ones that we have never tried. We see them all the time, but have no idea what they taste like. We don’t know if they will have a cherry in the middle, or almonds, or honey, but we tend to leave them right where they pop up because of how they look to us on the outside. Even knowing that we should never judge a book by its cover we still do. That’s where these five second loves fall into place. They are the ones that we one day decide to take a chance on and just close our eyes and bite. And they are the exact ones that once we bite we instantly fall in love with. Mainly, we fall in love with them because they give us something we need at that moment; they’re unfazed by public displays of affection, and not scared of dancing wildly in front of strangers.

Dinner dates turn into late nights dancing until the sun comes up. Restaurant to bar to lounge to nightclub to after-hours to diner to the bed, the days seem like months at a time, and a month can seem like an entire year. Yes, these loves are awesome because they make us forget time, allowing us to live strictly in-the-moment, but just as quickly as they begin and occur, is just as quickly as they tend to vanish—sometimes leaving us wondering if the entire time we were stuck in a dream, or, daydreaming at our desks.

all I’m bound to tell you.
You said you’d wait here for me
but I’ve been looking elsewhere.”

The older I get the more hip to these love affairs I have become, each time connecting them fully, purposely, with all the pieces of me, but making sure to remember that the expiration dates are right around the corner somewhere in the shuffle of it all.

This is what Trails and Ways latest jam: Say You Will reminds me of. A short musical story about those sporadicly lustful whirlwinds that are so rampant in my dearest NYC. They exist on every corner of every block of every borough in this town, but they exist more for the fairy tales that will be told than any actual love that takes place.

Don’t be afraid of the brief love affairs that knock on your door. Sometimes, those are more beautiful than all the long-term relationships you have been and will be in, combined.

Say you will.”

The Weekend Mix — May 2015

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I guess I’m preparing myself for my next move back to the left coast. That’s right—I‘m going, going, back, back, to Cali, Cali.

Living the bicoastal life between NYC and LA from 2008-2011 I learned a lot about the world. Having been born and raised my entire life in NYC, there were things that I could never have imagined about the world and its inhabitants had I never been to that other side of America. I mainly learned that there is no place in the world with the fast-paced energy and drive that engulfs NYC and its residents. I also learned that there is no place in or around New York that has the magical feel, Hollywoodesque sunsets, or naturally invigorating radiation that emanates from a combination of stunning skies and fruitful lands such as Cali.

Of course my world will never be the same again, as this time I am making the move permanently to the sunshine state, but that’s what I’m looking forward to the most. This time, I’m trading in the Hollywood Hills and West Hollywood streets for the beach, and I think that this is where my soul has somehow always yearned to be. That’s not to say that I won’t miss the concrete jungle I grew up in and learned so much about life through, but a complete change of the world in front of my eyes will bring out the parts of me that are still inside and that I have no idea exist, and that’s what I can’t wait to see and experience.

This Weekend’s Playlist is a simple mental preparation for me in anticipation of this move. It’s a few songs and lyrics that give me more excitement for what is to come, and help me say goodbye to what has been.

I hope you enjoy it and share it if so.

Well, now
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you

If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots
That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land” ― Pablo Neruda

Because It’s Friday…

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So much is going on in the world today that I don’t know where to begin or where to end. More police killing innocent civilians, more media focusing on what’s not important, more violence, less equality, more poverty, less housing—the world is a very screwy place. For this reason is why I needed something quirky today; if not to fill up on good energy, then at least to somehow, abstractly, make sense of all the world as it is happening in front of my eyes.

Our Last Shot by Groenland played through my headphones, and somehow it made sense of all the things I was looking at outside from inside of this particularly beautiful wine bar that I adore coming to. The tune has this harsh and very in-your-face production to it that reflects the fast-paced vibe of everything happening in front of me in NYC right now. As I stare at our notorious traffic, I see people racing each other across crosswalks in order to catch cabs, and cabs crisscrossing aggressively across the avenue to pick up patrons. There are city buses flying down their dedicated “Bus Lanes”, and bicyclists bobbing and weaving through an obstacle course worthy of frogger.

And then there is the calm.  Sabrina Halde’s vocals chime in like a jazzy vixen from the 30’s with that hint of Swing that swags the entire song out in the most pleasantly soothing ways, exactly the same way that the calmer parts of this city do, even though most of the time we fail to recognize that those calm parts even exist. Kids walking home from school aimlessly with zero worries, senior citizens enjoying every breath, and the bare stillness of our beautiful blue sky…

There are days when you’ve had enough of the news, enough of work and maybe even your friends, enough of your family or that significant other, enough of random people looking you up and down on the streets for no reason other than to judge you even though they have never seen you before, and, will never see you again. There are days where you wake up so tired from the routine that you don’t go for that jog or hike, skip the gym, and rebelliously refuse to follow those alternate side parking rules because once in a while you just fucking feel like it. This is what “Our Last Shot” feels like to me. It’s that: ‘I don’t give a fuck about the world today and I’m just going to do me’ type of tune that we all need every once in a blue, simply because it makes life a bit more fun.

…and then nobody can tell, what really went wrong.
But we will never really care, cause, cause I’m already gone.”

Peace Changes Nothing

The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of”

And I dream a little harder for those who bleed.”

Historically, peace has never changed a damn thing. The same people that want us to believe that we can change shit peacefully in this country are the same exact people who run off to war every three years with someone who disagrees with their beliefs or threatens their corporate pipelines of financial gains. It’s a complete joke, and we have been the ones getting pranked.

Imagine a world where Che and Fidel rallied peacefully across sidewalks instead of doing what they accomplished. A world where Cuba’s literacy rate would not be the highest and where their medical system would not be the best. Did you all forget that Castro was a lawyer, and Guevara was a doctor? (infant mortality in Cuba is 5.3 per thousand? In Canada this is 5.5 per thousand and in the USA it is 8.26 per thousand births.) It’s a health care system designed to emphasize on primary and preventive care rather than reactive care, of which we all realize now that in a capitalist society there is no long-term ability to continue sucking out its citizens money with actual cures. For a country who tells its citizens that it is for the people, isn’t it weird that a vaccine for meningitis developed in Cuba in the 1980’s is still not offered here?

Our government’s history books would have you believe that what Che & Fidel did was ant-democratic, but in reality what they did was precisely for the people because the Cuban people at that time were a product of inequality that was at the highest levels in history; something like what we are seeing with inequality levels now in the United States. All they wanted was for all Cubans to have the same chance, and making sure that everyone was educated and in good health was one way of assuring that. That’s not to say that socialists societies are not without faults because no system in history has ever been; just like no real and significant changes in history have ever come through peaceful rallying or meditating in a circle.

The world is different. It feels different, it reads things differently and it is responding much more differently than just a decade ago. The world is learning quickly that everything we have been told has always had an agenda behind it, and that these agendas have rarely ever been about uplifting the 99%.

They want us to still believe that their comfortable system cannot be changed. When I say “they”, I’m not referring to just the government or just one particular race, I am referring to the “Haves”  because the haves come in all races, shapes, sizes and political beliefs. They want us to look at the handful of black and latino celebrities and believe that we too can strive if we box each other to death or shoot a rubber bladder through a hoop, but the reality is that those percentages are dismally minuscule and virtually impossible in a system set up for only the 1%.

Without music, stories do not become cinematic. For this reason is why “London” by Samuel Ford plays today because something in its execution adds a hint of drama to the words above, and, because the feel of its lyrics are essentially what the overall agenda to our revolution is: a world driven by the love of humanity instead of gains for one’s self. It is through that kind of world that every human born can have a fair chance at living a long and beautiful life.

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world

You, you may say
I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will live as one” — John Lennon


Aline – Je bois et puis je danse

Space Age Bachelor Pad Music

I Don’t Want To Make Love

I don’t want to make love. The energy of the world right now for whatever reason is not of love but of passion. I don’t want to caress you, I want to fuck you. I want you passionately, not passively and by you I mean everything. Now is not the time to settle for good enough, that attitude is what got us here in the first place. If that’s what you want kill yourself and do the world a favor. Life is the most beautiful, magical and exciting dream any of us could imagine, it shouldn’t be taken for granted.

Look at nature and you’ll see god is real. Watch the sunrise and witness your creator.

I don’t want to love right now. I want to express originality and these days love is nothing but a holiday.

I don’t wanna buy no more, your shit ain’t getting me high no more.” -Travis Scott

I want to fuck, I want to grab life, turn her around and lose my mind in passion, lose my mind in insatiable desire for more.

The world around us is a physical manifestation of the ultimate creation. Go to the park today, leave your phone at home and keep your head up; take deep breaths and keep your eyes open. Then look at the sky, look at the trees, look at the shadows on the leaves, notice the light and witness God creating right in front of your eyes.

Song: “Letting In” by Beauville

Get Your Shit Together, Cheer Up, Smoke a Cigarette


You know this feeling
When the world stops turning
Focus on the the bright side
Life can make you bitter
But you’ll wake up stronger
So focus on the bright side”

A friend of mine asked me if she should send a few friend requests over to her French boo-thang fling that she met a few weeks back. After their brief tryst he had to travel to far away lands for work and she hasn’t heard from him since; needless to say that she really dug him, or actually, she still digs him despite the radio silence. But I told her: ‘absolutely not!’. You see, if someone likes you in those ways that make cocoons hatch in your belly then you will know it. It’s literally just that simple.

Lost forever out of sight
Forget the sadness of your nights
Breath deeper than ever
Stand up take another chance”

Later on she asked me what she should do to which I replied: ‘live’. What’s the point of sitting at home wondering about someone who isn’t even in the same area code let alone the same country? We tend to do this way too often without realizing that we are feeding ourselves the same exact misery that we hate to feel. Instead of getting up out of bed and seeing the immediate world as something to constantly explore, we sit around at home and mope, watching reruns of not-so-funny shows as if the endings of each episode will somehow change.

Make the best with what you get
Take it all and fuck the rest
Get your shit together
Cheer up smoke a cigarette”

It’s Saturday, so why don’t you forget anything responsible that you told yourself you had to get done today and get outside with the agenda of making the best of it. Don’t follow any of those boring ass plans you made yesterday for today with the same people that probably make you miserable; people that have no ideas to discuss, but know exactly what Mary and Beth were out doing last night. Seriously, we are blessed to be in the places that we are and yet we somehow manage not to explore and make the best with what he have right in front of us. We live in some of the most badass cities in the world and yet we tuck ourselves in their cracks and crevices brooding as if the apocalypse is already here. That’s just dumb.

You won’t surrender
We’ll get through together
Keep shining on the inside
Tell me what’s on your mind”

I guess this tune could not have come at a better time for some of you. Bright Side, so perfectly titled, is the creation of French remixers extraordinaire Basic Tape and Mozambo who have collaborated alongside vocalist Julia Church, which at 18 years young sounds a lot more mature lyrically for her age and still manages to grace our eardrums with the vengeance of a spunky teen ready to take on the day. We should all take note from Ms. Church and rock this shit out of this weekend instead of repeating exactly what we do on every other one. Circle back to my advice for my friend and just live.

Is Gay a Choice?

I don’t know if being gay is a choice or something you are born with. I can’t say that I have ever thought that I was a girl trapped in a man’s body. I do know that human beings are curious by nature. I do see how a boy can fall in love with his mom, or a daughter could fall in love with her dad. It makes all the logical sense to me because these are the first people you know and see, and even these parents have tough times explaining the difference between being in love with someone, and just loving them to their own kids; taking love to different tiers would be an even greater task, especially when the people that were supposed to explain it to them before you were just as lost, if not even more.

I can see how cousins that hang out a lot could experiment with sex with each other. I believe that parenting is one of the thousands of factors that matter in how children develop, and essentially what kind of adults they turn out to be.

Scientists and philosophers have tried to explain, for years, that the choices we make are based on the factors we are exposed to and given. Economists believe that when the choices of poor societies are controlled, but they don’t know that these choices are controlled, they remain in the state of poverty, never being able to leave or succeed into higher classes. Think about it, if I give you a multiple choice exam and every question has answers A-D, it really does not matter what you pick because I control every possible answer anyway… Understand?

Anyway, I was just listening to this badass tune by the collective Saint Ballantine in my headphones while a significant other is sitting here watching the Bruce Jenner interview on 20/20, and I guess the aggressiveness of the song’s production mixed with the delicious bottle of red wine that I am breezing through made me think about my own views on whether being gay is a choice. I won’t go into my own views because this isn’t the appropriate channel to do so in, but I will say that the American Media has a big fault in how the world perceives our great nation. We have gone from being one of the greatest empires in the history of the world to being the ridicule of it. I’m not saying that I even care about how we appear to others because I firmly believe that this is one of the greatest functioning countries  on the planet filled with some of the greatest individuals from all over it, but, I will say that I do care about the ridiculous shit we as a society give importance to. I think we need a refresh and re-boot in all of our asses, as a country, to get back to what truly matters, and get our priorities together.  Instagram likes, and this importance on numbers (which aren’t even real) has got to go. I mean, what exactly is a five, or a nine? By themselves, numbers ain’t shit anyway.

TGIF tho.

Saint Ballantine – Fashionably Late feat. Amrit