Melf | Et Musique Pour Tous

Melf – GUILTY (feat. Maja)

Guilty…we’re all guilty of something, there’s no doubt about that! Whether it’s casually fibbing to a friend or making an illegal u-turn cause we need to get somewhere faster there’s likely *something* from our lives that we’re guilty of. It’s great to be able to take a step back and recognize if you might be guilty of these things cause it allows you to become a better person and evolve into your best self…you can’t do it if you think you’re perfect!! On the flip side though, people can feel too guilty for their actions even when they shouldn’t which is something I’m learning to deal with.

As I’ve learned to get to know myself more over the past few months I’ve become in tune with my emotions again which has been a double edged sword…I’m so grateful to start feeling whole again but at the same time my emotions can be super strong since I’m still learning how to handle them again. If I do something I feel like I shouldn’t have, even if it’s just eating way too much greasy food during a day, I take it as some sign that I’m guilty of not doing my life *exactly* how I should be which is just fucking ridiculous! I’ve gotta use some perspective and be happy about the person I am today compared to the one I was, say 4 months ago. I’ve improved so much and I can’t let feeling guilty for a bunch of little things add up into feeling guilty about who I am right now!

I’m gonna continue trying to take things easier on myself, and while I do that, some good music helps. Big ups to Melf’s new song “Guilty” for not only starting this important train of thought but providing a banger for me to enjoy while I work on enjoying life more and feeling less guilty!

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Melf – CRZY (Feat. Alexandra Rotan)

Apart from being a mutant banger, Melf’s “CRZY,” feat. Alexandra Rotan reminds me of the Spanish Harlem streets where I lived for years. Dark edge thinly veiling a boiling excitement — the regular reminder that with urban grit comes poverty/crime/pain, but also vitality, raw energy in un-refined form breeding the hardest music, fashion, religion, slang. Culture that doesn’t give a fuck about me or you…only itself and the personal expression it must release.

This track feels like the soundtrack to the time my cousin and I were attacked by addicts on a dark Harlem street. East side, somewhere in the 130s — they wanted money. It was one of the few fights I ever won. In that frenzied moment, cast only in blurred moonlight, I remember glancing at my cousin pinned against a car flailing wildly before I was overtaken and forced to focus on my own assailant. He smelled like drugs. Which drugs I’ll never know, but it was a synthetic, hollow scent…full of misery and desperation.

I think he expected me to cower and back down because he was taller, bigger. But for some reason I mustered a spark and lunged. I stepped forward, put my foot behind his leg and tripped him so he fell hard on the concrete. Caught inexorably in the momentum of fighting for life, I leaned down and punched him hard in the face.

His nose exploded under the weight of my fist and I was covered in his blood. Covered in drug scent that still haunts me to this day. I can remember his eyes which had lost all aggression, full of fear and wonder that this victim, this lamb had suddenly become the wolf. He was unable to conceive of the anatomical damage afflicted to his face. And I was just as stunned at my own violence, depravity.

Strange how a song can return us — so vividly — to ruthless moments.

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