Welcome to the inner workings of my mind
So dark and foul I can’t disguise
Nights like this
I become afraid
Of the darkness in my heart
This song is all about the mind’s inner darkness. It’s the thoughts we purposefully push away, the parts of our mind that we don’t want anyone to see. There’s something both frightening and intrinsically beautiful about the one part of our lives that we all happen to share, that nobody will ever know anything about. We put up barriers, refrain from talking to certain people even, because we claim not to “trust” them for varying reasons. But a lot of it has to do with our minds, that darkness that we don’t want the world to see.
I had the pleasure of attending Sleep No More last night and while I won’t spend time gushing about it in this post, despite how much I’d love to do just that, I’ll save it for Tumblr. I will say that I had an experience unlike any other, and that one moment in the night really connected with me in a way that deserves mentioning here. It was right after a scene where Macbeth had been doing a handless headstand. He brought himself to his feet, paced a five foot area of space for a moment, and then turned to the crowd where he locked eyes with just me. He approached me, held my head in his hands as if to kiss me, then whispered into my ear a line that I now cannot remember (Shakespearean lingo in all fairness, is not always at the tip of my tongue). The meaning was all I took away from it, and I managed to remember that: Things look bad on the surface, but they always get better later.
This song was the first one I listened to today, and it could not have connected better with my emotions after last night. Being afraid of the darkness within, encountering it and allowing it to exist is exactly what this song, and my current mindset, is all about.