There are moments punctuated throughout your life where you either know it while it is happening or you look back and realize that was one of those pivotal moments when your poles are changing. Your magnetic center is shifting, whether fast or slow you can feel your life pulling in directions out of your control. Needless to say, I am in one of those places at the moment.
I was also given the unique and surreal and human moment where I could say bye to someone very dear to me. Grief in itself is very strange and unique for everyone, like your personal fingerprint on the moment. How you handle it and how you move on is the only thing you can control during it. You feel like a roller coaster and people handle you carefully as though you are holding a hazardous material and one wrong breath will cause you to drop it, or loose it more likely. But this is happening and this is life.
The other thing about grief is I always seem to have realizations. “This is what I should be doing…” or “I know I really want this in my life now….” and so on. To survivors, you feel like you are given a new lease on life as you make it through it. You see the things you want to change, you hear the regrets of the person in the hospital, you see how people react and what you can do to change that fate of yours.
That is why I liked this song. Aside from my deep love for English accents and this style of music which has been predominantly coming from the UK (reminds me of King Krule or a softer Jake Bugg), this song made me feel good on a bad day. It also was a good message during this time.
“Staring at you in your clear view But only you can make the change
It’s up to you to break the chain
You got to fearI know you’re running, running, running
Tried to part
But doubt is what is tearing your world apart
You got to fear
You got to fearCall me if you need someone
To lean on, lean on.”
I am loosing someone I have loved my whole life and have been caring for and her for me for the past year. But with this on a playlist, I can say I feel a bit better and appreciate the power of music and a good playlist to get through even the darkest of days and brightest of memories.
Bipolar Sunshine, or Adio Marchant, is a british artist from Manchester. This is a single released from the former vocalist of Kid British. His recent EP, Drowning Butterflies, is set to release before the end of 2013.