Music Uncategorized

GROZ — Barefoot Town

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Today I learned that letting go of a past that is no longer a part of who you are now, or what you have become, is liberating.

I am a child,
I am young,
And I’m waiting for the better things to come.”

An ex-girlfriend text me today because she had read my tumblr and saw her name on one of my stories/passages. I tend to be super honest about everything on there because I see it as a blank canvas for the craziest thoughts my day has had. I also see it as a way to analyze my progress and underline the various faults in me which still require repair. Anyway, in that passage she realized that during our short-lived love affair she had been the side-chick all along. I guess her discovery of that infidelity, long ago, made her completely disregard all of the actual emotions I truly felt for her during that time we spent together. I mean, I get it—you find out that one of the loves of your life was cheating on you the entire time and then had someone else placed above you on some sort of scale, and all of a sudden the sky turns pitch black in the middle of the day because the motherfucking sun just died. But the thing is that I don’t feel bad. I don’t feel bad about being honest with myself on my own tumblr page. I don’t feel bad that I had a fiance and a side chick at the same time all those years ago, because if it weren’t for those things I would not have been able to progress in the various places that I have now been able to.

I don’t fear death nearly as much as I feel not living.”

I write what I feel at the very moment that I start writing, and those feelings and ideas and thoughts change faster than you can spell A.D.H.D., but I can’t apologize for them if I offend anyone because if I can’t be the purest form of honest with my own writing, then where can I go and with whom can I trust to find the growth that I seek within me?

I want to go where few have gone,
I’d say I’m looking for trouble.”

Look, I am learning about this life and I am progressing in all aspects of mind, body and soul, but in that process there will be many nasty truths about myself that I will have to admit to in order to understand fully what needs to change. If I can’t do that then how can I be the man that I want to become, because he is what a good man will one day represent again to everyone in this world.

If I look content, 
Well you’ve got it wrong. 
I’ve got a mouth full of words,
And they’re like bullets in a gun.”

Good men are honest with their thoughts and they are honest with their responses. Good men understand what sacrifice means and do it without a pout or a single complaint, ever. Good men bury their hands deep in the mud before they will allow the people they love to even look at that wet dirt. Good men raise good children who raise great creations, not because they have perfected humanity, but precisely because they know and embrace all of its imperfections.

In order to become a good man, I have to destroy the old boy, and I just won’t apologize for any hurt that comes from that total annihilation.