She made damn sure we
Never gon’ be friends”
It took me a few failed relationships to learn how to not to become friends with my significant other’s friends. Things just got weird whenever I somehow thought that things between me and them could remain the same or even cool after a breakup. I guess that’s part of loving too much. I guess that’s why when I was younger I’d get hurt at every new corner and every turn of the clock. And then little by little I started to find a balance, becoming cordial and unattached to the baggages of others. I say baggage because essentially that’s what they become especially when things don’t go right.
V was one of the few exes that wanted nothing to do with me after our split. Her friends even less to do with me than her. It wasn’t that we had a horrible split or anything like that. In fact, we simply grew apart and over our little youthful love story. It was just that this was how they were. V and her friends were a tight-knit crew of Hell’s Kitchen kids that went to school their entire lives together. I’m talking preschool to High School here. It’s rare to find that kind of camaraderie in the city nowadays, but that’s what they had and I don’t blame them for being the way they were. It was with that relationship that I understood and saw what loyalty looked like. I mean, I thought I had loyalty amongst my crew of friends, but they took the cake because they had created the mold for it.
its wild if i think about it
our lives are tied yet divided”
After those days I started to find my place in relationships. I’d give more of me whenever it was asked for, and played the background whenever it wasn’t and we were hanging with her friends. Finding my place didn’t mean being a recluse or playing second fiddle to anyone else. Nah. Finding my place simply meant responding to how she wanted me to respond in those moments. That’s how I was able to find what I did and didn’t want out of a relationship. That’s how I figured out that I want someone who is as considerate as me, and that considerate people are not a dime a dozen. In fact, considerate people in relationships are like fucking unicorns, so if you manage to have one make sure you capture it forever and never let it loose because regret is exhausting and hearts are simply not meant to race.
Those last two R&B references (if you caught them) are a shout out to this incredible tune you are already listening to or about to hit play on by NoMBe. It’s a dose of Space Age R&B, as we like to say. The kind of futuristic love-making music that hits the highest peaks of sensuality with its smooth yet rugged vocals, and keeps you switching positions with its transitions of sounds that end up feeling more like a painter’s brushstrokes than a producers fingers.